WP155 | Should You Hire Family In Your Counseling Practice? Lessons for Faith-Based Owners - Podcast Takeover with Amy Dover
Have you ever thought about hiring your spouse, your mom, or another family member in your counseling practice? It sounds wonderful… until you realize it can get complicated fast.
In this takeover episode, my friend and colleague Amy Dover explores a question I know many faith-based practice owners have asked themselves: Should I hire a family member in my counseling practice? Amy shares her own story of working alongside her mom as a practice manager, highlighting both the blessings and the challenges that come with blending family and business. She offers practical steps, biblical wisdom, and reflection questions to help you discern if hiring a spouse, parent, or relative is the right move for your practice.
The Blessings of Hiring Family
Amy explains that one of the biggest reasons practice owners consider hiring family is trust. You already know their character, values, and integrity — which is priceless when you’re trying to find the right fit for your practice.
There’s also the blessing of a shared mission. When your spouse, parent, or sibling shares your passion for mental health and ministry, working together can strengthen your calling and make the work more meaningful.
And let’s not forget flexibility. A family member might start with simple admin tasks and grow into leadership as the practice expands.
Amy reminds us that family partnerships are not new. Throughout Scripture, we see examples of families working side by side — from Moses, Aaron, and Miriam leading the Israelites to Priscilla and Aquila discipling together. When aligned with God’s purpose, these partnerships can be powerful.
The Pitfalls You Can’t Ignore
Of course, as with anything involving family, things can get complicated. Amy names a few of the biggest risks:
Blurry boundaries: Is your mom your receptionist or still “Mom” in the office? Without clarity, resentment builds fast.
Authority tensions: It can be difficult for a spouse or parent to take direction from you — especially if they’ve known you since childhood.
Financial dependence: If both your practice income and your family income rely on the business, financial stress can double.
Impact on practice culture: Other employees may assume family members get special treatment, which can damage morale.
Amy shares candid stories of how she and her mom had to work through these challenges. From setting boundaries around feedback to deciding not to call her “Mom” in front of staff, they’ve learned the importance of professionalism and clear expectations.
Practical Steps for Success
If you’re considering hiring a family member, Amy offers several practical steps to do it wisely:
Write a clear job description: Don’t assume your family member knows what to do.
Use the formal hiring process: Treat them like any other employee with interviews, onboarding, and payroll.
Define authority: Decide who supervises them and set expectations.
Pay fairly: No “family discounts” or inflated salaries.
Protect sacred spaces: Don’t let work creep into family dinners or Sabbath rest.
Create an exit plan: Have a loving, honest conversation upfront about what happens if it doesn’t work out.
A Faith-Centered Perspective
Ultimately, the decision to hire family should be guided by prayer and wisdom. As Amy points out, Colossians 3:23 reminds us:
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.
Your counseling practice is temporary. Your relationships — with your spouse, your parents, your siblings — are eternal. If strain arises, don’t ignore it. Pause, pray, and seek counsel.
Reflection Questions
If you’re weighing this decision, Amy suggests journaling and praying through questions like:
Why do I feel drawn to hire a family member… is it trust, finances, or mission?
Where could boundaries blur, and how can I protect them?
How would conflict at work affect our home life?
Am I prepared to pay fairly and treat them as an employee?
What would this communicate to the rest of my staff?
How would I gracefully end the arrangement if needed?
Have I prayed about this decision and sought scriptural counsel?
Final Thoughts
Hiring family in your counseling practice can be both a blessing and a challenge. With intentionality, boundaries, and faith, it can work beautifully. But if not approached with wisdom, it can also strain relationships and hurt your practice culture.
Take time this week to reflect, pray, and seek God’s guidance. Remember, your practice exists to serve others — but your relationships are the true reflection of Christ’s love in your life.
Links and Resources
Email Amy directly at amy@wisepracticeconsulting.com
Looking for support and connection: Join the Wise Practice Community
Learn More about Wise Practice Consulting
Connect with Wise Practice on Instagram
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Should You Hire Family In Your Counseling Practice_ Lessons for Faith-Based Owners - Podcast Takeover with Amy Dover
[00:00:00] Whitney Owens: Hi, I am Whitney Owens. I'm a group practice owner and faith-based practice consultant, and I'm here to tell you that you can have it all. Wanna grow your practice, wanna grow your faith, wanna enjoy your life outside of work, you've come to the right place. Each week on the Wise Practice Podcast, I will give you the action steps to have a successful faith-based practice while also having a good time.
[00:00:25] Now, let's get started.
[00:00:29] Jingle: Where she grows your practice and she don't play. She does business with a twist of faith. It's Whitney Owen and Wise Practice Podcast. Whitney Owen and Wise Practice Podcast.
[00:00:47] Amy Dover: Hello my friends. Welcome back to the Wise Practice Podcast. I'm Amy Dover, licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Group Practice owner. And consultant with Wise Practice Consulting. Before I hop into the episode today, I wanna tell you about a mastermind group that I'll begin on November 6th. It's gonna run for six months, and it's for solo practice owners who are interested in growing into a group practice and who would like to hire their first one to two therapists by the end of those six months and maybe even an admin.
[00:01:18] I keep this group to 10 people or less because I want there to be plenty of time for teachings, hot seats, and feedback. We work on systems, paperwork, hiring and interviewing, money mindset, marketing, insurance, financials, and all the things that need to be in place to grow from a solo to a group. Practice masterminds are my favorite because of the group aspect and because of the encouragement and the accountability that comes with it.
[00:01:43] If you're interested in more information, check out www.wisepracticeconsulting.com/masterminds. Okay, so today's episode is my last one for this four part podcast takeover, and it's a big one. Something I know many of you have wrestled with and that I myself have been doing in my practice for nine years.
[00:02:06] Should you hire a family member? Maybe your spouse, maybe your mom, a sister, a cousin, an aunt, to work in your private practice. On the surface, it sounds beautiful, doesn't it? Blending family and business. Having someone you trust with your whole heart right there in the trenches with you. But let's be honest, it can also get real complicated.
[00:02:32] Some of you are probably saying out loud right now, I would never hire my husband or my wife, or my mother or sister or cousin. When people learn that my mother is actually my practice manager, the response I get most often is, whoa. What's that like? So today we're gonna unpack the blessings, the pitfalls, and the faith center principles that can help guide you if you're considering this.
[00:02:58] So why does the idea of hiring a family member sound so attractive? First is trust. You know their character, you know their values. In a world where integrity matters, especially in a Christian practice, that's priceless. It's really hard to find good people to work in a practice anyway. And so if you're talking about hiring a family member, well then trust is kind of not even something you have to think too much about.
[00:03:25] Shared mission. There's something powerful about partnering with someone who shares your heart for ministry and mental health, and then flexibility. Many spouses or moms can step into roles that grow as your practice grows. Maybe it starts with answering phones and turns into managing billing, or even helping with leadership.
[00:03:44] And we don't have to look far in scripture to see that. Family partnerships have always been part of God's story. Moses, Aaron, and Miriam worked together to lead Israel out of Egypt, each with different roles, but united in calling Peter and Andrew and later James and John with their father Zebedee worked side by side in the fishing business before following Jesus into ministry, and Priscilla and Aquila, a husband and wife team who made tents together and discipled others in the faith.
[00:04:12] Throughout the Bible, we see families working together in both business and ministry. When aligned with God's calling, those partnerships strengthened their mission and made them more effective. So that's why the idea of hiring your spouse or your mom or another family member in your practice resonates so deeply.
[00:04:29] It's not just practical, it's biblical that as we're gonna talk about next, family partnerships can also be quite fragile, and that's where wisdom and intentionality come in. Here's where we need to talk about some sober wisdom. Scripture also teaches us that relationships are sacred and they can be easily strained when money, authority, and stress enter the picture.
[00:04:53] So let's talk for a few minutes about some cautions that you need to consider if you're thinking about hiring a family member to work in your practice. Number one is blurry boundaries. When your mom is your receptionist, is she still mom in the office or is she your employee? Without clarity, you can end up frustrated and resentful.
[00:05:15] Number two, authority tensions. A spouse or parent may unconsciously resist taking direction from you because, well, they've known you since you were a teenager or a young adult if they're your spouse. Or as in the case of your mother, she's known you since birth. It can be hard to take direction from your child if you're working for them, so keep that in mind.
[00:05:40] Number three is financial dependence. If your household income now depends on both the clinical side and the admin side of your business. Financial pressure can double if you decide to hire your spouse. Number four, your practice is culture. Other employees may feel that family gets special treatment.
[00:05:57] Whether or not it's true that can hurt morale and how your family member behaves around the other employees is extremely important because they're watching your spouse or your mom as well as how you interact with them. So I wanna share a personal story. As I let you know earlier, my mother is my practice manager and she has been for nine years.
[00:06:19] She started with me a year after I opened because I was in desperate need of a good admin. You guys know what I'm talking about, that I knew I could trust who would represent me well and knew what she was doing. And I knew that she would be totally in Amy's like total Amy team, that I knew that she would be for me.
[00:06:40] And for the most part, this has been a good experience for both of us and the practice, but there have been times when it has been challenging. For instance, when staff in the office, me, over the years, I've been open for 10 years, so. Of course not everything is, you know, strawberries and cream, unicorns and skittles.
[00:06:57] This is a business, so there are gonna be some difficulties along the way and for whenever a staff has gone into her office and maybe complained about me to her or or complained about some policy that I created for her, her office is generally the hub of the building. She struggles with this because they're complaining about her kid and I've had to tell her.
[00:07:17] Hey, mom. I know it's hard to hear criticism about me, but I also think it's kind of a good thing that people share this with you. They don't automatically see you as Amy's mom, and in those situations, put it back on them, let them know. Hmm, that sounds like something you need to talk to Amy about. So teaching her how to be professional and have good boundaries and those specific examples was really important for her because her first automatic jump was, don't you talk about my kid?
[00:07:47] So if you're thinking about hiring in particular, your mother or a close family member for your practice, make sure that you have this con, this kind of conversation with them. We've also had some hard conversations. For instance, if I make a decision that she doesn't care for personally, for whatever reason, and she shares that with me, that's fine, but I've reminded her that at the end of the day, the decision is mine to make, and my expectation is that she will support it, especially in front of my team.
[00:08:15] Another important thing, and I think this is an important detail, is that I don't call my mother mom at the office unless it's just she and I, and sometimes I'll say it when I'm a little frustrated with her, but to everyone and in front of everyone, she is Darlene. Whenever we're at the office and I've had conversations where I've said, Hey, I'm putting my boss hat on right now because we need to talk about this.
[00:08:39] She has respected this. So if you're thinking about hiring a family member, their ability to respect your decisions, even when they don't like them, is crucial, or it just won't work. If you and your spouse have some unaddressed issues between you, working together in your practice will only magnify them.
[00:08:57] So this also needs to be considered. Alright, so what do we do if we decide that this might work, that hiring your family member might actually be a good idea? How do we actually go about. Some practical steps to do it. So number one, a clear job description. Don't just assume that your spouse or your mom or any other family member that you're considering knows what to do.
[00:09:20] Write out the job responsibilities just like you would for any other employee. Have them go through the formal hiring process, even though they're family. Go through your normal processes, the interview, the onboarding, the W2 paperwork, payroll, treating them like an employee protects your relationship and your practice.
[00:09:40] I didn't do this when I hired my mom nine years ago, but it is a great idea. It sets the tone right away that they are your employee. A firm boundary is immediately created, and I love that. Define authority. Decide, are you the direct supervisor for your family member or does another staff member manage them?
[00:10:00] Sometimes having a buffer creates peace, but in our private practices, we're not always able to do that. So give some some time and thought to how you want to define authority with your family member compensation boundaries. Pay them a fair wage for the role, not a family discount or inflated salary.
[00:10:19] Fairness, honors both your family member and the rest of your staff. Work life separation. Protect sacred family spaces. Maybe you don't talk about billing or a client call at the dinner table. Sabbath rest is real. Honor it. My mother and I have not always done this well, and my husband has called us out on it several times over the last 10 years.
[00:10:42] He has been very patient, but he's always like, seriously, guys, are y'all really gonna talk about that right now at the dinner table or when we're outside enjoying the pool on this beautiful summer afternoon? And he's right. It was not appropriate for my mom and I to cross that boundary, and I'm glad that he called us out.
[00:10:58] Exit plan. Have a loving, graceful conversation before your family member even starts. If this doesn't work, it's okay. Our relationship matters more than the job that gives both of you freedom. So let's talk for a minute about the spiritual perspective of this in Colossians 3 23. Paul reminds us, whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord, not for human masters.
[00:11:25] If you bring a family member into your practice, the ultimate goal isn't efficiency or cost savings is to glorify God and how you love and respect one another. Your marriage or your relationship with your mom or your sister, your aunt, whoever it is, is far more important than the success of your business.
[00:11:43] If you sense strain, don't ignore it. Pause, pray. Seek counsel. Remember that God cares about your practice, but he cares even more about your relationship. So I would like to give you guys some reflection questions and journaling prompts in the next minute or so. So if you are considering hiring a family member that you can.
[00:12:05] Take these questions to your prayer and your journaling time. Allow Holy Spirit to guide your reflections. Just make some notes to yourself. Be very honest, and before you go further with this decision making, just spend some time thinking on these particular things. Number one, why do I feel drawn to the idea of hiring a family member?
[00:12:27] Is this about trust, finances, or a sense of shared mission? Number two, boundaries and roles. Where might boundaries blur between family life and work life, and how can I protect those spaces, guys? Boundaries probably will blur. So making sure that you're thinking about that and protecting that is extremely important.
[00:12:50] Number three, if conflict arises at work, how could it affect our home life? What steps can I take to safeguard our relationship? Number four, what message would it send to my other staff if I hired a spouse or parent? Your staff watches you. So how you go about the hiring process, how you present to your family member, to your team, and what their role is in the practice, how you present all of that is very important and affects morale.
[00:13:20] Number five, am I prepared to pay fairly? And how would this decision impact household finances? Number six, how would I navigate ending the arrangement gracefully if it didn't work out? And number seven, have I prayed over this decision? What scriptures or counsel might guide me here? These questions are designed to slow you down before making a decision that has both professional and personal implications.
[00:13:48] So take your time and think and pray. So let's recap. Hiring a family member in your counseling practice can be a beautiful picture of shared mission, trust, and kingdom work, but it does come with risks, lured boundaries, financial stress and relational strain are just a few of the things that might be challenging.
[00:14:06] The key is intentionality. Clear roles, fair pay, healthy boundaries, and a willingness to put their relationship first. I encourage you to take these questions into your quiet time this week and just any of the information that I shared in today's podcast, journal about it. Pray. Ask God to reveal whether this is the right step for your practice and your family, because at the end of the day, your business is temporary, but your relationships and the way you live out, your faith within them are eternal.
[00:14:36] And we're mandated to keep our eyes on the eternal, not the temporary. Thanks for joining me today on The Wise Practice Podcast. If this episode encouraged you, would you share it with another Christian practice owner? And if you're interested in my upcoming mastermind group or in doing some individual counseling, send me an email at amy@wisepracticeconsulting.com.
[00:14:57] I hope you guys have a great week, and I'll see you next time on the next podcast takeover. Take care.
[00:15:05] Jingle: So click on follow and leave a review and keep on loving this work we do with Whitney Owens and The Wise Practice Podcast, Whitney Owen and Wise
[00:15:19] Whitney Owens: Practice Podcast. Special thanks to Marty Altman for the music in this podcast. The Wise Practice Podcast is part of the Site Craft Podcast Network. A collaboration of independent podcasters focused on helping people live more meaningful and productive lives.
[00:15:37] To learn more about the other amazing podcasts in the network, head on over to site craft network.com. The Wise Practice podcast represents the opinions of Whitney Owens and her guests. This podcast is for educational purposes only, and the content should not be taken as legal advice. If you have legal questions, please consult an attorney.
