WP 63 | Using Your Trauma to Grow Your Practice with Marcken Volmy
From Trauma To Triumph: A Conversation With Marcken Volmy
In today's post, we're going to revisit an enriching conversation held on the Wise Practice Podcast with the magnificent Marcken Volmy. He's a certified EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) practitioner, private practice owner of Bedrock Counseling based in Florida, and the author of the inspiring book, *Trauma Stories: Discovering Strength Through our Vulnerabilities.*
Marcken Volmy: Impacting Lives, One Story at a Time
Marcken Volmy's journey started in Haiti, where he was born and migrated to South Florida at a tender age. Throughout his life, Marcken has devoted himself to unraveling the complexities of the human mind and its relationship with trauma. His compelling commitment to his own healing journey and helping others reclaim their lives is truly inspiring.
What struck us throughout this conversation, was Marcken's inherent belief in an integrated approach to wellness. He's a strong proponent of giving equal attention to physical health, spiritual health, and mindset to aid healing from trauma.
Moreover, his palpable passion for helping others heal is infectious, and as he shared his personal experience with EMDR, we were struck by his courage in confronting trauma.
EMDR and Its Transformative Purpose
One captivating aspect of our discussion was Marcken's profound experience with EMDR, a technique he admittedly didn't discover, but one that found him. Having grappled with childhood trauma and a terrifying encounter involving gunpoint robbery, Volmy was living in perpetual fear and hypervigilance. EMDR helped him find relief and understand the depth of his trauma.
Moreover, he shared his experience of performing 'Intensives' - lengthy monthly sessions allowing focused work with clients. This method, though newer in his practice, has shown significant results and he hopes to make it the cornerstone of his practice in future.
Group Practice Owners and Their Untold Trauma
Our conversation took an important turn when we discussed the role of trauma in the lives of group practice owners. Marcken highlighted the underlying fear that plagues many in the field - the unsettling anxiety of failure and failure to view your own value in offering a vital service to the public.
We also discussed the potential impact of trauma on the relationship between employers and employees. Leaders dealing with unhealed traumas may unknowingly bring their insecurities to the workplace, potentially affecting communication, relationships, and even the quality of work produced.
This enlightening conversation with Marcken Volmy reiterated the need for ongoing personal healing journeys, especially for those in therapy practices. It's through personal growth and self-awareness that we're able to connect deeply with our clients, improve service delivery, and make a lasting impact on their lives.
Personal Growth and Humility: The Secret Tools to Success
Marcken further stressed the importance of humility in achieving success. Success often brings to the surface existing insecurities. However, rather than viewing this as a setback, we should see it as a vehicle tactfully used by God to mold us further into His image. The ramp-ups to success may reveal unattended anxieties and fears, but they also push us toward much-needed healing and transformation.
Our rich dialogue with Marcken Volmy has given us a deeper understanding of trauma, its impact on our personal and professional lives, and the significance of an ongoing healing journey. His work in EMDR therapy, the transformational stories of his clients, and his personal journey reinforce the positive impact of choosing to boldly face our traumas and the freedom that comes along with it.
The full conversation with Marcken Volmy is available on our podcast, which you can access [here](Insert podcast link). Don't forget to check out his insightful book “Trauma Stories: Discovering Strength Through our Vulnerabilities, ” available on various digital platforms.
What is Alma, and How Can It Help You?
Alma - Your private practice support system. Alma offers clinicians the opportunity to join their insurance program, providing benefits such as getting credentialed within 45 days and enhanced reimbursement rates with major payers.
Guest Resources
Facebook is @bedrockcounseling
Trauma Stories: Discovering Strength Through Our Vulnerabilities
Links and Resources
Learn More about Whitney Owens Consulting
Connect with Whitney Ownes on Instagram
Connect with Whitney Ownes on Facebook
Check the podcasts on the PsychCraft Network: PsychCraftnetwork.com
Podcast Production and Show Notes by Course Creation Studio.
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WP 63 | Using Your Trauma to Grow your Practice with Marcken Volmy
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Today on the wise practice podcast, I have my new friend, Mark and Volmi. He is a licensed mental health counselor and owner of bedrock counseling, a private practice based in Florida that offers EMDR consultation for recently trained clinicians. He is EMDR trained and certified with over a decade's worth of experience, helping people identify their traumas and gaining more awareness and how to process unresolved issues.
[00:02:20] Whitney Owens: He's the author of trauma stories, discovering strength through our vulnerabilities. Thank you so much for coming on the
[00:02:26] Marcken Volmy: show. Thank you for having me. I appreciate it.
[00:02:29] Whitney Owens: Whitney. Yeah. So why don't we kind of start out you sharing a little bit about yourself? Where are you from? Did you grow up in Florida? A little about your family, whatever you want to share with the audience.
[00:02:38] Whitney Owens: Sure. Well, I
[00:02:39] Marcken Volmy: was originally, uh, I was born in Haiti in the Caribbean and I migrated here about four, four and a half years old, um, to South Florida. And I've been here ever since I'm 43. So, um, been here practically my entire life. Um, I'm married with two kids. I have a 47 year old daughter. Um, my wife, she's, she's in the nursing field, but she's gotten a little bit of the mental health bug.
[00:03:05] Marcken Volmy: So she's wrapping up a certification as a psych nurse. So we're, we're really trying to tag team to do the whole wellness thing together with mental health. wellness. Um, yeah. And, um, I just love talking about trauma, helping people heal and really helping people see there's really multifaceted. It's not just work on your trauma while, um, while you neglect your physical health and your spiritual health.
[00:03:29] Marcken Volmy: I feel like it's all interconnected. Um, one affects the other and whatever I could do to help out of those three phases, whether it's spiritual, physical, mental, um, I'm all for it. Uh, and, and I think just going on, being on my own healing journey of my, of processing my own trauma has even brought out the passion even more because I want everyone to experience a little bit what I've experienced.
[00:03:52] Marcken Volmy: I was like, wow, this is what it feels like to be free. So yeah.
[00:03:58] Whitney Owens: Oh, wow. Thank you for sharing that. And so you decided to niche in MDR. It sounds like. So talk a little bit about EMDR and how you use that in your practice.
[00:04:07] Marcken Volmy: Yes. Uh, I like, I jokingly like to say I didn't find EMDR. EMDR founded me. I had a lot of childhood trauma in college.
[00:04:17] Marcken Volmy: Have some PTSD going on. I was robbed wrong place, wrong time at gunpoint. And, um, and for years I would have these really bad hypervigilant symptoms where I'm always afraid. I'm, I'm always on edge, fidgety, can't relax, not knowing what it was until I came into the field. And I remember someone suggested, you know, you should, Since you're in the field, go speak to the therapist.
[00:04:42] Marcken Volmy: I said, okay, and just randomly found someone who does EMDR and she said, you, you, you're, you're experiencing trauma. Let's do a couple of sessions at EMDR. I said, okay, so I did held on to the tappers. We did it in person. I'm like, wow, what is this thing? Why is my body responding this way? It was weird. I said, I said, is she casting a spell on me while I was, I was, I was afraid I'm not going to lie to you.
[00:05:08] Marcken Volmy: But after the first second session, that's like, wow, why do I feel such relief? And, uh, and I, and ever since then, I've been on a deep dive with consultation and training and, uh, I can talk about it every day, all day. Um, and now I'm in the process of becoming an approved consultant. Uh, and. I provide it virtually, uh, but but I've recently just started doing intensive in person.
[00:05:33] Marcken Volmy: So anyone who wanted to do that with me, we meet once a month for about 3 to 4 hours. Uh, and then and then we, I check in with them next month. See how things are going until we work through all of the targets. All of the different things that, that, that's pretty much in the way of them finding a sense of relief and peace until they feel like, you know, they're at a place to where we can either transition to talk therapy, or we could taper back from some of the sessions.
[00:06:00] Marcken Volmy: Yeah.
[00:06:01] Whitney Owens: Nice. When did you start doing intensives? I
[00:06:04] Marcken Volmy: started doing intensives to be honest with you within the last six months, but I was trained over a year and a half ago by a woman by the name of cambria Evans, really intensive, thorough training. But since then, I've been fortunate enough to run into some other really great therapists.
[00:06:21] Marcken Volmy: I don't know if you know, uh, a therapist by the name of Kelly Schmidt. I'm probably I'm sorry, Kelly. She's from the Las Vegas. I'm horrible with names, but she's we're part of a Facebook group intensives and she provides a lot of great resources tips and I piggyback off the people see how they're doing their intensives personally.
[00:06:44] Marcken Volmy: I wish I could do that with all my clients because the results are phenomenal. Um, and it frees me up from the, um, week to week or week to bi weekly grind of having to see this client frequently once a month. And I'm freed up to do much more things business wise and explore the avenues of possibly even, um, revenue streams.
[00:07:07] Marcken Volmy: So down the line, I'm hoping that that becomes the main. The, the, the main funnel of my practice EMDR
[00:07:16] Whitney Owens: intensives. I love that. That's awesome. Well, we can talk about so many things. In fact, before we recorded, we were planning to talk all about that. And then we started talking about trauma in our business and I got so engaged.
[00:07:27] Whitney Owens: I was like, wait, I want to talk about that. So let's, uh, so many things we could talk about. So if y'all just heard, um, what Mark had said about intensives, like make sure you check the show notes and get in touch with him. Cause he can give you more information about that. Um, but let's talk about trauma for business owners.
[00:07:45] Whitney Owens: Is that a pretty common thing that you see with practice owners?
[00:07:49] Marcken Volmy: I do, especially if the practice owners, um, transitioning from, you know, like community mental health or some type of full time job. I can already sense this heightened sense of anxiety of will I starve? Will I make it? And, uh, and I get it.
[00:08:06] Marcken Volmy: And plus. Everyone does not a synonymous, synonymous business model out there. You find what fit what works best for you. But I do think there needs to be this sense of, um, I'm offering something really valuable to the general public. Uh, and there should be this not arrogance, but this sense of confidence to to to think on, you know, what, um.
[00:08:31] Marcken Volmy: I'm not for everyone, but at the same time, there is a niche out there in this market. It's not like therapy saturated because everyone needs help the way I look at it. So, there is a place for everyone in this field to see where can I really make an impact? And find that ideal client that I really connect with to where it doesn't even feel like I'm working and I'm thriving and I'm providing good service.
[00:08:55] Marcken Volmy: To the community, and I'm being compensated fairly, and I really enjoy what I do, because I think at the end of the day, clients might not know all the mental health jargon, but they can sense passion. And when they find a passionate therapist, it's like, they want, they become your biggest spokesperson.
[00:09:12] Marcken Volmy: They want to tell the world about you, how you changed their life, and how you love this, and um, To me, there's, there's nothing like it.
[00:09:21] Whitney Owens: Yeah. So you're bringing up this dynamic of, you have a practice owner who is insecure and uncertain about themselves. And then you have this other dynamic of confidence.
[00:09:34] Whitney Owens: Right, and when I think about practice owners, and I think you were kind of conveying this, they do tend to be in that 1st category, you know, just insecure, not knowing how to market, not knowing how to move forward, just trying to grasp straws at what to do next. Then I start thinking about our faith background and like, shouldn't we have more confidence and what God's calling us to and like all those dynamics.
[00:09:57] Whitney Owens: Um, is that kind of what you're seeing?
[00:10:00] Marcken Volmy: Absolutely. I not only see it, I've experienced it. Yeah. Yeah. I remember at one point in time I was terrified to even show my face on any type of like video marketing. I was, I was terrified. And I remember my EMDR consultant at the time said, you know what? I think you should explore that fear of being on camera because you say you provide great content.
[00:10:23] Marcken Volmy: I see the stuff you put on social media, but it would really hit differently if people heard you speak and they could put a face to the name. Um, and it'll be like, you're branding you. And she said, if there's a fear of that. Maybe it's connected to a wound that you haven't really processed, and I was like, whatever.
[00:10:42] Marcken Volmy: But I started thinking on it more, like, okay, all right, God, you're messing with me. And I started processing that with my own EMDR therapist. I realized there was this sense of, um, There was, I was still holding on to this sense of I'm not good enough and it was trickling over into the business field. Um, and it's, it's, it's funny because if you've done a lot of trauma work, I'm not good enough.
[00:11:06] Marcken Volmy: It's synonymous to pride. You think you've, you've dealt with it once and for all, but it tends to repackage itself and shows up in your life and like, wow, where did this come from? Right? So it's something that I think I'm still working through, but I now see the confidence. Uh, into now that I'm able to, um, set a feed that I'm comfortable with, show my face more and realize I'm not for everyone.
[00:11:32] Marcken Volmy: If someone's, if someone's inquiring and chooses not to live. Follow through with me is not a personal attack. It's just that everyone has a different situation. So now I can see things from my, and this is the importance I believe in healing. You don't take anything personal. You realize everyone's at a different place.
[00:11:51] Marcken Volmy: It's not a personal attack on you. Um, and, and it's so freeing to think that way as opposed to holding on to these negative beliefs. You know what? I did something I could have done more. And that's just so that's, that's so unfair to ourselves the way we beat up ourselves mentally with those thoughts.
[00:12:07] Marcken Volmy: And it hurts us as business owners because then we lose the confidence to, to pivot or do try something else because we think, you know, what, I should have never done this. I should have stuck to my safe full time employment, my 401k and I would have never experienced that and you miss out on what God probably had on the other end for you.
[00:12:25] Marcken Volmy: Man, I love it. I'm sorry. If you notice some of my answers are really long. If you want to mute me and say, by all means, let me know. I'm sorry.
[00:12:35] Whitney Owens: No, I love this. And this is how the spirit moves. Right. I mean, a lot of things you were saying were triggering some things for me that I've been dealing with and thinking about.
[00:12:44] Whitney Owens: Um, but what you just said about, you know, we, we struggle with something. We don't have quote success the way we want it to look. So then it brings up our wounds. And we don't want to deal with our wounds either. We don't see that it's happening or we see them and we don't want to deal with them. And we're therapists for crying out loud.
[00:13:02] Whitney Owens: And then we run away and do something different in our business so that we don't have to deal with that. That was man, that was so spot on and something I'll be thinking about.
[00:13:12] Marcken Volmy: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Uh, and another thing I want to and I'm I'm a really big advocate on if you're if if someone wants to be successful in this field, whether you work full time for a company, uh, you're doing community work, or you're in private practice.
[00:13:33] Marcken Volmy: Continue your own personal healing journey because it really shows up in the quality of work, um, that you provide to your clients. Uh, I, I, I think, um, it's, it's weird. It's almost as if our clients, they don't really have the mental health background. Um, most of them, but they can feel like, wow, like.
[00:13:55] Marcken Volmy: Whitney, you, you're kind of going extra mile here. Is there something you're doing differently than other therapists? And really what it is is that, um, they're connecting with you on a deeper level because of the work you're doing. It doesn't mean you've arrived, you're better than any other clinician, but I think we could, you're able to connect on a much deeper level with your clients.
[00:14:17] Marcken Volmy: Yeah.
[00:14:18] Whitney Owens: Well, it all goes back to your own personal work. Yes. Our own personal work. Yeah. That you're in your own therapy, that you have authentic relationships outside of your clients, and that you're willing to be moved by your clients. Yes, you know, I used to notice and sometimes I still do this where I'm working with somebody and they bring up deep emotions and that kind of freaks me out and I kind of pull back in therapy and then I'm like, Ooh, in fact, what did I just read the other day?
[00:14:46] Whitney Owens: I read something that said, oh, I think it was, um, with ACA, it was a question of should a therapist apologize when they mess up in therapy. And I was like, Ooh, and I remembered I had a client who came in. This client had not cried in front of me. We've been seeing each other for 4 years. Okay, he had a lot of work to do, and he finally is about to cry in session.
[00:15:10] Whitney Owens: And I just like, feel so uncomfortable. Like I feel it within me and I changed the subject without even realizing I was doing it. I just did. And then I started getting through the session. I was like, Oh my gosh, I just missed an opportunity. I just missed it and I stopped the session and apologized for it in the middle of the appointment and he was so kind about it.
[00:15:32] Whitney Owens: And I said, this was my fault. That's not happening again. I'm making you cry next to him and he did. Yeah, a couple of sessions later, now the tears are coming and it's a beautiful thing, but like, it's our own stuff that gets in the way of the therapy.
[00:15:47] Marcken Volmy: Absolutely. And even though you missed that small, that, that monumental moment with your client, I think.
[00:15:54] Marcken Volmy: It also gave your client to see, you know what, my therapist is just as human as I am. They don't always have the answers. They'll miss it sometimes. And, you know, I think ironically it worked out perfectly, them seeing you apologize. And it's humbling. I mean, I believe there are some clinicians out there who wouldn't have done that.
[00:16:14] Marcken Volmy: You're like, I have all these degrees. I have all this knowledge. You know, um, some may have that disposition, but I think that was really, really big on your part to say, you know what, I need to get this right.
[00:16:25] Whitney Owens: Yeah. So, yeah, so we were talking a little bit before the show about this kind of concept and we don't have to go too far into it, but I've been thinking a lot about consultants lately because the consulting world's getting kind of weird and just, um, you know, I think as we level up, you know, as a therapist, group practice owner, consultant, whatever it is that you're doing.
[00:16:47] Whitney Owens: Your insecurity becomes just as prevalent, if not more prevalent. And sadly, sometimes people are acting the opposite, you know, the pride is growing right when really we need the humility to grow. So I don't know if you kind of see that or have anything to kind of speak to about that.
[00:17:05] Marcken Volmy: Absolutely. I think what I know in my own experience, my insecurities were growing more when.
[00:17:12] Marcken Volmy: You know, because when you come into this, I'm in the solo practice field, hopefully I'll vacillate over to the group practice soon. Uh, there's a, there's a lot of ebbs and flows. You know, you, you, you figure out if you've been doing it for a couple of years. You know, the falls, my higher seasons, you know, things may lighten up come spring, summertime, whatever the case may be.
[00:17:34] Marcken Volmy: So if you already have insecurities coming in, those insecurities tend to augment when things tend to slow down. All the negative beliefs you head on to that no one else here is about now you're starting to preach to yourself and say, I told you, you weren't good at this. Look at that. Not everything's been dried up.
[00:17:53] Marcken Volmy: Everything's in slow down. Right? Without thinking through. Okay. What? What are some. What are some things I could be doing different because you could be an amazing clinician, but maybe it's a business acumen issue and has nothing to do to do with you as a clinician. Right. And I think this is where the, the beauty and the therapy community comes in, and you, you mentioned consulting.
[00:18:18] Marcken Volmy: And I'm a real big proponent. If you know something, and I don't know, and you've been doing it for a while, I have no problems paying for that expertise because, um, I need to humble myself, go back to humility and say, hey, could you show me how to do this? Um, can you teach me? Uh, but, but I think the lie is, if I'm coming in as a, uh, As a solo practice or group practice owner, I need to have this thing figured out.
[00:18:41] Marcken Volmy: I'm the clinician and I look at it. My disposition is I'm a lifelong learner. I don't care how many degrees I have. What's my title until God calls me home. I'm going I'm going to continue to learn. And then I think, uh, another area of a pain point for me is, um, my wife's really good at pointing this out for me.
[00:19:02] Marcken Volmy: Whenever I have these moments, I want to have a pity party of the slow seasons in my practice. She always points me back to impact, you know, impact is not typically, it's not always measured in numbers or or where you're currently at, but impact is what is the quality of work you're doing? Um, if, if. If only if God's only giving you three to four clients in the season that you're in, but you look back and you're reflecting over the notes and the level of conversation and the transformative healing that's taking place in those sessions, uh, you, you should say, thank, thank you, God, for that.
[00:19:37] Marcken Volmy: I only have three or four now, but I have systems and structures in place when this three or four turns into eight turns into 12. I, you know, then you could, you could, you could be a well oiled machine as opposed to saying, You know what? This is a numbers game. My numbers are low because I don't want to look at people as commodities.
[00:19:55] Marcken Volmy: I want to look at it as what is the true impact and value that God's allowed me to provide into people's lives. Because we're really complex beings and I look at it as wow, something is as complex as a human mind. God has privileged me to help be on mission with him to help allow someone a sense of relief, a little bit of, um, A little bit of peace in the season that they're going in, in spite of all the, all the external chaos they might be dealing with.
[00:20:26] Marcken Volmy: And the fact that I get to provide a little bit of that. I look at it as a very humbling experience, whether that's on the front end or the back end. The fact that I, I get to God says, you know, I'm marking in this season. You're only going to be with Whitney for 12 sessions, but in those 12 sessions, give it the best that you have.
[00:20:44] Marcken Volmy: And I think that's the level of impact. Yeah. That we need to slow down and really, really pay attention to before we start beating ourselves up and comparing our practices to everyone else's, you know, I think impact goes a long way.
[00:20:59] Whitney Owens: Yeah. I'm also kind of thinking about just kind of the Christian world or the impact world.
[00:21:04] Whitney Owens: We do get so fixated on those numbers. So like, for example, you know, um, you might be a pastor and you have what, a hundred people coming and then you have a thousand people coming. And so then you think to yourself, oh, this is so great. I'm sharing the gospel with more people. Right. Well, that is great, but if you're not doing it authentically or you're not really investing or whatever, you've, you've missed out, you know, and I think it's really easy for us to rationalize.
[00:21:33] Whitney Owens: Oh, I should do this thing or I'm great because of this. When really it's not at all, you're, you're lying to yourself.
[00:21:43] Marcken Volmy: To me, depth is so much more than just more numbers, but the relationships are, the connections are really shallow. If, if it's just five people, but we're going like 10 miles deep, as opposed to having 500 people and we're only going two inches deep, I want that impact with the five, you know, cause I know a whole lot more with
[00:22:03] Whitney Owens: that.
[00:22:04] Whitney Owens: Yeah. Well, let's pivot a little to group practice owners because we were talking about that before the show too, that we see some trauma with group practice owners. How do you see that trauma play out? Yeah. I remember
[00:22:16] Marcken Volmy: when I, um, I recently mentioned to you that I had an opportunity to speak in London this past September and, um, I believe the author's name is, um, Michelle, last name starts with a B.
[00:22:33] Marcken Volmy: But the title of her book is bad boss. And in the book, she's talking about how, um, she didn't yell. Um, she didn't, she, she, she didn't make condescending comments to her team, but she would overwork them. And she would excuse me. She was so disconnected with them. Everything was all about outcome measurables.
[00:22:58] Marcken Volmy: And she realized the reason she was doing that is because of her own unhealed traumas, her own scarcity mindset and financial anxieties to where she stopped looking at her team as people with live and she saw them as. You know what? Almost as little foot soldiers who need to accomplish this task in order to calm my own anxiety.
[00:23:22] Marcken Volmy: And I think no one goes in as a boss with that mindset, but if we allow our trauma responses to take over that, that ends up being what happens. And now all your employees are rolling their eyes, they're, they're, they're smiling in your face, but the minute you turn your back, they're rolling their eyes.
[00:23:37] Marcken Volmy: Cause, cause, cause you're not showing your appreciation for them. And she had to apologize and she said, wow, she missed it. It wasn't about the numbers and outcomes. It was all about the people. Like, if I had a team of, I don't have a group practice as of yet, but if I did, and I had, let's say, I had a group practice of 1520 clinicians and I have a female therapist who's 6 months pregnant.
[00:24:01] Marcken Volmy: She needs to say, you know what? I need to start slowing down because I have a couple of doctors appointments to make a couple of other things going on in my life. I need to, I need to really affirm that if there's someone else who's going through a horrible time, maybe they have a sick parent or a sick relative, I need to see how we as a team could come around that individual, pray for them, corral around them, because I think the greatest investment for any business owner, especially a group practice owner, is to make sure we're, we're investing into the well being of the team, because we're in, we're in the helping profession, and if we're not helping our team, It's going to affect the quality of work that they're doing.
[00:24:40] Marcken Volmy: So I look at it as I'll rather invest in my team to ensure that the quality of work they're putting out for the group doesn't, doesn't start to have a drop off B because, you know, I, I'm not taking the time to slow down to check in on them to see what's really going on.
[00:25:00] Whitney Owens: I mean, it's like you read my email.
[00:25:02] Whitney Owens: I did. Wow. One of my therapists actually is pregnant with twins. Wow, I know, and she's lovely. Um, and so like, when she announced it to us, like four months ago, I knew she was going to quit. I knew it in my gut and it was the Holy spirit, you know, and she, and she did quit, she was like, if it had just been one baby, I probably would have stayed, but I can't do it for two.
[00:25:24] Whitney Owens: And I'm like, I, I get it, you know? So, um, but she had her due date or not her due date, but her last day here was supposed to be mid November. We're, you know, we are recording here at the end of October, but we've had to keep moving it up and up and up because she's struggling. She's not feeling good. She's got some medical symptoms.
[00:25:42] Whitney Owens: So just what you were saying, it's like, yeah, I could be mad and be like, well, yeah, if you would just, you know, work two more weeks and even see 10 clients that would really help me and, you know, meet the bottom line. But what am I doing there? You know, who am I caring for and, you know, I got to just trust this process that's going to play out and care for her in that process.
[00:26:03] Whitney Owens: But I totally agree with you, like, making your team the priority, investing in them 1st and. Man, all my insecurities come out either with my team or as a consultant, like, it's all there, you know, and so working through that, I actually had a consultant for a while who really helped me on communicating with my team because.
[00:26:22] Whitney Owens: I didn't want to tell them what I wanted because I was scared they wouldn't like me. And after I started, he challenged me to interview them. And so I started interviewing them, finding out that they actually were very confused about what the rules were. They were like, uh, I've never, I've never really understood the PTO policy.
[00:26:38] Whitney Owens: So I never take any and I'm like, oh my gosh, like no wonder people aren't taking PTO because I didn't want to be strict about it, you know, so then I didn't make a good policy and it was all very confusing. So, I really stepped up at that point was like, people want a boss, they can respect and understand and all my traumatic experiences.
[00:26:56] Whitney Owens: We're getting in the way of that. Yeah,
[00:26:58] Marcken Volmy: I could see that because. You know, you're probably thinking, you know what, if I really talk, let them know how I feel, then I won't be liked by all of them. And it's not like as a boss, you, you want to be liked by your employees, but that could be the belief system that's been with you since childhood.
[00:27:14] Marcken Volmy: And now it's trickling over to how you maneuver as an, as an employer now.
[00:27:19] Whitney Owens: Yeah. Yeah. And the more my group practice grows, the more I'm having to implement policies and procedures, which I don't love doing that, but if I don't, it's not going to function well and people aren't going to have a job and we're not going to help clients.
[00:27:34] Whitney Owens: And so it's like, I'm having to think more about money and talk more about seeing the number of clients you're supposed to see when I didn't have to do that stuff when we were three or four therapists. So that's, that's challenging as we grow, I feel like all my insecurities coming out more and more and I have to work on it more in therapy and more in my consultation groups and things
[00:27:52] Marcken Volmy: like that.
[00:27:53] Marcken Volmy: Right. And isn't it ironic how as guys opening more opportunities for you and those more insecurities are rising to the surface, that's actually the vehicle he's using to, to conform you in more into his image. But it's coming through the vehicle of success. So if you didn't branch out, you would have never seen how much work the Lord needed to do within you.
[00:28:18] Marcken Volmy: So I think it's a win win on both sides, on both ends, if you think about it. Reach.
[00:28:24] Whitney Owens: Yeah. I mean, our business is forming us into the image of Christ. Yeah. Right. And, um, you know, the summit that we just did a few weeks ago, like it was really hard on me. I actually sent an email out last week and people were like, are you okay?
[00:28:37] Whitney Owens: I was like, well, I didn't mean to sound that dark, you know, but, but God like really used it to teach me a lot about people and a lot about myself and a lot about the community. And it's through those challenges, right. That we learn how to lead and we become a servant leader and all those good things that God wants to do in us.
[00:28:54] Marcken Volmy: Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. I think, um, people only see 5 percent the final product. I have a good friend of mine. Like he's been preaching for like almost two decades and every Sunday he's getting ready to preach. Um, people don't know the mental struggle for him to get to the whole pit. And he preaches on such excitement and vigor and passion you would never know.
[00:29:20] Marcken Volmy: But there are so many little mental roadblocks that he needs to jump over. Before he gets to where where he needs to that by the time he's done on Sunday, you can just see the air him decompressing like it's over. He's so excited. Right? But but he does a phenomenal job. But I think. Those who are not part of his inner circle, they never get to see like, um, having to think, work through so many negative trauma responses, maybe even some things from childhood that are getting in the way of, um, I wouldn't say even get in a way, but, but in a way God's using it to.
[00:30:00] Marcken Volmy: Keep him dependent on him and keep him humble, but the crowd only get to see the final product. And I, I was thinking of when you said that your situation you put on and you probably, I'm sure it was an incredible conference and people like, what are you talking about? But they don't see the ramp up.
[00:30:18] Marcken Volmy: You're over everything and there's so many little boxes that need to get checked that those who are coming for the entire presentation, they don't see that the inner workings that you're probably having to work through.
[00:30:30] Whitney Owens: Yup. And they get to experience God, which is the reason you do it. You get to see people grow in their faith and connect with one another as practice owners.
[00:30:38] Whitney Owens: It's the greatest joy I could have. So it's worth the suffering to see that. And so that was a great example that you just shared. Um, I'm curious, your friend, as the church has grown, has that become more and more difficult for him to preach or has it gotten easier?
[00:30:53] Marcken Volmy: It's gotten easier because over the years he was savvy enough to put the right people at play, so more hands off and you could just see the anxiety doing this.
[00:31:05] Marcken Volmy: It's almost like, um, and I tell people all the time, healing does not mean you'll never get triggered, but look at your ability to recover when you're triggered. What used to take you maybe days now can take you anywhere from like five minutes to an hour because you're starting to show a lot more resilient.
[00:31:25] Marcken Volmy: And I think that's what's happened to my friend to where, um, to where like. When everything's now well oiled machine, he has great systems in place, great team members, and God is so good that even as people have, you know, move and move on to different things. He'll bring incredible other individuals in to replace them.
[00:31:48] Marcken Volmy: It's almost as if things don't miss a beat. You know, the pastoral world is very similar to the group practice owner world. And I'm saying this. As someone who doesn't run a group practice, but just in the little that I'm hearing, I see a lot of, I see a lot of similar attributes in both worlds.
[00:32:06] Whitney Owens: Yeah. Amen.
[00:32:08] Whitney Owens: Actually, you don't know this, but my husband's a pastor. Oh, okay. Wow. So we, we talk a lot about that. Running a church and running a practice. And, uh, it's all very interesting. In fact, when we were at the summit, um, he said his testimonial video was if I could run my church, the way Whitney runs this community, I'd be doing good.
[00:32:28] Marcken Volmy: When I, there's a lot of summit, are you talking about North Carolina?
[00:32:33] Whitney Owens: Well, that's the next one is in North Carolina. Yeah, so it's the wise practice summit. That was the one that just happened here in Savannah a few weeks ago, and it'll be next year in Charlotte. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So, well, this conversation has been lovely and enlightening for me and I've really enjoyed it.
[00:32:50] Whitney Owens: Is there anything else that you want to, I know you have a book that you, what we kind of talked about at the beginning, I mentioned in the bio, if you could share about that. Sure.
[00:32:57] Marcken Volmy: Yes, I recently wrote my first book. It was published this past July 15th. It is titled trauma stories, discovering strength through our vulnerabilities.
[00:33:06] Marcken Volmy: Um, it's, it's available on all digital platforms, Amazon, Barnes and Noble's, you name it. Um, and the, the layout of the book is pretty much Like a personal memoir of all of the traumatic things I've gone through from childhood up until adulthood and of past clients who gave me permission to tell their stories and their personal transformative process and how EMDR really helped them.
[00:33:35] Marcken Volmy: And in each chapter, I'm given a nugget of how trauma affects the body, trauma and shame, how trauma and culture interplay, all the different elements of trauma, um, because I'm trying to normalize that. Trauma is all around us, but it tends to show up so off so much in our relationships and whether that that's our dating relationships, how we parent our friendships, the co workers we interact with.
[00:34:04] Marcken Volmy: Um, and we, we, we normalize. Oftentimes, uh, toxic personality traits because we've had them for so long that we, we just will say stuff like, Oh, this is just how I am. Take it or leave it. I'm not changing. You're right. And not realizing like maybe God's called us to more. So yeah.
[00:34:24] Whitney Owens: Definitely. Well, thanks for sharing that.
[00:34:25] Whitney Owens: So if somebody wants to grab your book or get in touch with you, talk about EMDR trauma intensives, all those things, how can they get in touch with you?
[00:34:34] Marcken Volmy: Uh, they can I'm on social media on Instagram. I have 2 handles at Mark. Involve me my name. Um, and they are C. K. E. N. V. O. L. M. Y. the name of my practice is better.
[00:34:48] Marcken Volmy: I counseling also on Facebook. Uh, and. My website, my handles on my website, but they're, they're the same thing. So my website for my book and everything or speaking and consultation is my name, markinvolme. com. My website for my practice EMDR com. I think that's, that has all the information, email, phone number, everything else.
[00:35:13] Marcken Volmy: Yeah.
[00:35:14] Whitney Owens: Awesome. Well, I appreciate you taking the time, sharing your expertise with us and I'm looking forward to dropping this episode. Thank
[00:35:21] Marcken Volmy: you. I appreciate it.
[00:35:42] Whitney Owens: Special thanks to Marty Altman for the music in this podcast. The Wise Practice Podcast is part of the Sitecraft Podcast Network, a collaboration of independent podcasters focused on helping people live more meaningful and productive lives. To learn more about the other amazing podcasts in the network, head on over to sitecraftnetwork.
[00:36:01] Whitney Owens: com. The Wise Practice Podcast represents the opinions of Whitney Owens and her guests. This podcast is for educational purposes only, and the content should not be taken as legal advice. If you have legal questions, please consult an attorney.
